


waste my days (waste my days)

by rainbowrabblerouser



Series: shitposting as prose [2]
Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies), The Avengers (Marvel) - All Media Types
Genre: ADD/ADHD Tony Stark, Based on a Tumblr Post, Deaf Clint Barton, Everybody Lives, First Dates, Fluff, Friends to Lovers, Holding Hands, Humor, Literal Sleeping Together, M/M, Meddling Natasha Romanov, Misunderstandings, Napping, Post-Avengers (2012), Steve and Tony watch Spongebob together, Team as Family, Television Watching
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-05-11
Updated: 2020-05-11
Packaged: 2021-03-03 00:55:12
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,872
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24136201
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/rainbowrabblerouser/pseuds/rainbowrabblerouser
Summary: Bruce accidentally slips that he has a crush on someone. Tony doesn't realize he's talking about Thor and not Steve. Natasha and Clint witness the circus.
Relationships: Bruce Banner/Thor, Clint Barton & Natasha Romanov, Steve Rogers/Tony Stark
Series: shitposting as prose [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1721350
Comments: 4
Kudos: 105





	waste my days (waste my days)

**Author's Note:**

> based off of this post:
> 
> https://rainbowrabblerouser.tumblr.com/post/617775318086844416/im-not-sure-if-this-will-make-sense-to-anyone-or
> 
> title from "Keep Fishin'" - Weezer

The nonsense starts, as it always does, when Tony is playing around.

This time, unlike the incident in which they blew up the toaster, it takes place in the lab. With Bruce. Which isn’t a bad choice for nonsense, to be honest, but still not the safest. So Tony was being a jackass, what’s new?

“I just think it would be interesting if two of the Avengers were dating. But the media doesn’t know who and it becomes a whole PR mess!”

“Tony, that would not even be remotely funny because then we’d be bombarded with journalists and then Fury would be up our asses over the whole thing. You just want it to happen so that you can confuse people for fun.”

Bruce and Tony were hyperfocusing in the lab, while the others were doing God knows what when Tony wasn’t around them and Bruce wasn’t reluctantly participating in whatever team-building exercise that Steve insisted they try.

“You wouldn’t have to even force anything because I already like someone,” Bruce slips out. Immediately, he regrets it and curses Tony’s ability to get him to talk.

Tony whoops as if he just won a prize at a carnival. 

“Come on, who is it? I promise I won’t tell! I’m not the playground gossip type!” Tony gives him puppy dog eyes and puts his hands together in a praying motion.

Bruce sighed. Why did he have to pick Tony as his best friend? He kind of wished that he had taken Thor’s offer to hang with him instead, but it was too late for that.

“Ugh, I’m not telling you, Tony, it’s embarrassing,” Bruce flushed.

“Can I at least get a hint?”

“Fine.”

  
  


-

  
  
  
  


Tony thinks about the description Bruce gave him.

  * Blond
  * Blue eyes
  * Strong
  * Brave
  * Sweet and dorky, but also smarter than people think
  * Heart of gold
  * Been through a lot, but still really gentle and kind



  
  


Hmm.

He thinks it over during lunch and then it hits him.

Aw man, Tony thinks that Bruce is crushing on Steve!

Come on! That’s who Tony likes! Not fair! Uncool! Bogus!

He spends the rest of the day blasting music and working on his suits. Because they would distract him from the harsh reality. Like he was some dramatic teenager. 

Feelings just hit Tony harder than other people. ADHD is a bitch. So he was going to hyperfocus the living fuck out of his work and no one would stop him because he told JARVIS to make sure no one bothered him until it was time for dinner.

Then, he could drown his sorrows in drinks and tacos. (It’s Tuesday)

“Sir, are you sure you want to block everyone? Captain Rogers too?”

“Uhh, let him through if he pops in.”

-

After lunch, Bruce decides to take a break and join Thor in whatever his daily routine was. So he was walking with him around the city because Thor still hadn’t gotten oriented with what New York City was supposed to look like when it wasn’t being attacked by aliens and half of it was burning down and without citizens.

“Banner, how’d you figure out how to get people to not notice us?”

“Thor, you can just call me Bruce,” he said as they slipped through the streets.

“Okay. Bruce,” Thor said softly enough to make him blush. 

“Also, since you’ve got that hat on and you’re wearing muted colors, no one will realize it’s you since they won’t recognize your hair and you without your armor.”

At some point, Thor slips his hand around Bruce’s, using the excuse that he doesn’t want to lose him in the crowd. 

-

Steve woke up early and focused on his art. He was working on a special painting for Tony. One of the sky. He knew how much Tony loved his art.

In the middle of his creation of his painting with love, he realizes that he hasn’t seen Tony today. He did see Natasha and Clint training when he went to go get breakfast. Thor and Bruce left the tower for whatever “a day on the town” meant. But he had no idea what Tony was doing.

“Hey, JARVIS! Where is Tony?”

“Mr. Stark is in his lab. Would you like to see him?”

“I’d love to. Please let him know I’m on my way.”

“Of course.”

A few minutes later, Steve is in his lab, his hands still covered in paint.

“Steve! What’s up?”

Tony was working on some engine-looking piece of metal that Steve couldn’t quite recognize and he was wearing a wife-beater and covered in oil. The slick shined under the light and Steve covered his face to hide his blush. He was so obvious.

“Tony, I was just thinking about you and was wondering what you were up to.”

“Thinking of me? Aw. Oh wait, you got something on your face here…” 

Before Steve could get it himself, Tony was right next to him, brushing a finger softly on his face and wiping the paint off. It was a little bit of purple. Steve could feel his face heat up as Tony leaned in close. He could feel his breaths and Tony smelled like coffee and motor oil, a strange combination that was just very...Tony.

“There we go, Cap. Aren’t you a hot Picasso?”

“Thanks, Tony,” Steve managed to mutter as Tony pulled his hand away, still standing in his space. “What are you working on in here?”

Tony gestured to the metal thing and started talking fast about it, then he took Steve’s hand and dragged him to the work table. Steve blushed at how cute Tony could be when he was excited about something, even though Steve couldn’t really get exactly what it was. He just enjoyed his company, and he was glad to see Tony happy.

-

Natasha had overheard what Bruce said and she signed it to Clint.

They immediately went to an empty boardroom to discuss the issue. Of course, they had gotten snacks and a ton of markers they could use to write out their thoughts into the boards. JARVIS activated the holograms and set up a wide space for them.

“Oh. My. God. What if Bruce was talking about me? I don’t have the heart to tell him I don’t feel that way about him!” Clint was making big gestures with his hands, conveying the panic through his ASL.

“Obviously, he's talking about Thor,” Natasha threw a Pringle at Clint.

“Oh. That makes more sense, actually,” Clint relaxed and put his hands down.

They were at the table with their feet up and were staring at the ceiling. Their discussion had faded into just hanging out.

“Well, what do we do now?” Clint asked as Natasha opened a bag of marshmallows.

Natasha scoffed. “We sit back and watch the circus. Knowing Tony, he probably thought Bruce meant Steve and he’s panicking in his lab like some teenager.”

“So where do we come in? Don’t tell me we’re going to meddle?” 

“That’s exactly what we’re doing.”

Clint sighed as he sat up and grabbed a drink. 

Natasha got one too and looked up, “JARVIS, where are Tony and Steve?”

“Both are in the lab.”

“Perfect.”

-

When Bruce and Thor return, they’re giggling like a bunch of dumb teenagers who just pulled a prank on their first date.

“Hey, kids, did you get to Makeout Point after you left Pop’s Diner?” Clint signed, obviously trying to spite Bruce for reading his Archie comics and confuse Thor because it’s fun.

“No, we did not go to this Makeout Point, but we did go to a diner,” Thor responded, obviously not getting the reference.

Bruce’s face was pink from the laughter and the embarrassment of Clint catching them as they returned. He looked down at their intertwined hands and didn’t make a move to remove his hand. Bruce was getting used to having Thor so close. Even if they didn’t talk about how they most definitely just went on a date.

“What did you do all day, Clint? Play on the Wii with Nat? Do a team-building?” Bruce raised an eyebrow at Clint, who was sprawled over the couch like a cat.

Natasha walked in with ice cream cones and handed one to Clint as she sat next to him.

“I see you guys are back. How was it?”

Thor beamed and swung their hands.

“Perfect! Bruce showed me the sights! And we saw a man painted in silver! He didn’t even move when I kic—”

“Okay! It was fun!” Bruce interrupted, preferring to not mention how Thor took a street performer too seriously and definitely ended his chances of having kids.

Thor grinned and leaned into his space, allowing Bruce to rest his head on his shoulder. Bruce was so obvious with his blushing. 

Natasha and Clint gave each other a look, which communicated: “Oh, well at least we still have Tony and Steve to mess with.”

When Thor and Bruce walked off, they finished their ice cream cones and hopped off to plan their mischief.

-

After about an hour of working in the lab with Steve watching and asking questions, Tony decided to go take a nap. Funny thing is that he didn’t expect Steve would accept his invitation to join. Usually he gets scoffs and chuckles when he makes that joke, but Steve was eager. 

Maybe Tony had a shot? Only if he didn’t screw it up. Not like how he messed things up with Pepper. 

At least Steve was okay with his tinkering and his hyperfocusing so long as he was okay healthwise.

They take a nap on the couch in the common area of Tony’s floor. Steve and Tony had been watching Spongebob on the TV because Tony insisted on its “cultural relevance” even though Steve was pretty sure it was a stoner show and not appropriate for children because of all of the weird jokes and absurdity.

At some point, during the episode in which Spongebob and Patrick become parents to a scallop, Tony dozes off with his head on Steve’s shoulder. Soon after, Steve fell asleep too after he put a blanket over them. 

When Tony woke up, he glanced out the window to see the sun setting. Just in time for dinner. He looked up to see that he had slept on Steve, who was still snoring. They were under a blanket, one of the weighted ones that he had gotten for Steve. It was purple, the same shade of the paint that was on Steve’s face earlier.

Tony shifted a little, but Steve moved and soon he was awake. Steve yawned and ran a hand through his hair. Then, he looked down.

“Hey, Tony, are you good? We took a nap and I think it’s dinner time.”

“That was a good nap. We should do that more often.”

Steve still had his arm around Tony and he smiled as Tony leaned against him.

“Yeah, we should, Tony.”

-

Dinner is kind of funny.

Because Natasha and Clint had prepared it and they were sitting there waiting for them like they were the principal and vice principal in their office, ready to punish a group of kids who had just changed the sign in front of the school to say something dumb.

“Nat, the lovebirds have arrived,” Clint signed as he set down the drinks. 

“I was starting to think that we were going to have to eat all of this ourselves," Natasha responded, taking her spot next to him. 

As they had hoped, Steve took his seat next to Tony, while Thor and Bruce came in a little later and sat together. Tony shot them confused looks as he mouthed, “When did that happen?” as he referenced them holding hands and still giggling. 

Steve rolled his eyes and passed the plates.

Their family dinners were always strange because it always was led by some oddball topic that they spent the whole time debating. Usually Tony started it and then Clint made it worse. But today, it was weirdly quiet. Almost peaceful.

Then, Tony opened his mouth.

“I was talking to Brucie earlier and he said that it would not be funny if two of our team started dating,” he broke the ice. There are a thousand other worse things he could have said. Bruce shook his head, hoping he didn’t say anything else.

  
“It would sure draw attention,” Steve started. “But it wouldn’t be too horrible as long as it didn’t get in the way of our work.”

Clint and Natasha chuckled as they noticed Tony’s surprised expression.

“I’m sure you get that it likely would, right, Tony?” Bruce muttered. “I mean, seriously, we really are a ticking time bomb waiting to go off.” 

Thor reached underneath the table for his hand and squeezed it in an attempt to soothe him. There was a hint of stress in Bruce’s tone. Dinner was supposed to be nice. Whatever can of worms Tony had opened up needed to be resolved.

“I think it wouldn’t be bad. Many warriors were in relationships and they were fearsome! In fact, many of my friends were lovers with one another and they were victorious! The bond between them was strong,” Thor said.

Natasha and Clint kept snickering like they were the class clowns after the teacher just said something that could have been interpreted in a wrong way. They were partially laughing because of how Bruce blushed at the revelation that Thor would encourage dating a teammate. 

“Widow, Barton, do you have something to share with the class?” Tony snarked.

“Dating within teams is frowned upon and I don’t get attached unless it’s friendship,” Natasha said as Clint kept giggling, holding onto her arm for balance.

“Ditto,” Clint signed.

Bruce cleared his throat. “I can’t be the only one who thinks that it could end badly. But then again, I have a problem with emotions. You guys surely have had awkward breakups because of your occupations, right?”

Steve raised an eyebrow, thinking to himself about Peggy. Tony sighed because of Pepper. Thor’s shoulders sagged as he thought of Jane. Bruce lost Betty.

Clint and Natasha shrugged since they were best friends and were happy with that.

They ended up tabling the conversation for a different time. 

-

After dinner, they watched a movie together. 

It was Clint’s turn to choose and he picked a romcom: 27 Dresses.

“This isn’t romantic, Clint,” Natasha said as Katherine Heigel went to get married. “This is a psychological horror. The guy is ugly and they neg each other and pass it off as romance.”

Tony snorts and laughs, shaking next to Steve, who had his arm across the couch over him. They were sitting really close and shared the blanket.

Steve frowns, thinking about what she said. “Modern romance must be weird.”

“Oh, it is,” Bruce said as the movie was wrapping up.

Thor had fallen asleep against him, one arm around his shoulders. 

Clint gasps, then signs, “This is a classic! Excuse me for not picking 13 Going On 30 because Bruce wouldn’t be able to live down the jokes about how he looks exactly like the guy!”

They turn the TV off when the credits roll and Natasha promises to pick something they would have trouble sleeping after watching next time. 

When they all head to the elevators, Tony whispers softly to Steve, “Can you join me tonight? If you’re okay with that?”

Steve leaves his elevator and follows Tony to his room.

They end up dozing off with Tony in Steve’s arms after they talk for a while.

“Y’know, we make a pretty good team when we’re not trying to jump each other,” Tony sighs after Steve chuckles at his comment. “I mean it.”

“Oh, Tony, I would never jump you. I’d just knock you out,” Steve pulled the blanket up.

He’s wearing one of the sweaters Tony had given him. It was fluffy. Tony was wearing Captain America pajamas that looked too big for him. “They feel better like that,” was Tony’s excuse as to why they hung off of him.

“You’re too nice for that. Mr. All American Boy next door. I heard that everyone was after you back then. How come you aren’t after anyone right now?” Tony said.

“I can be mean,” Steve shifted his head to face him. “You just won’t see it if you keep acting all soft with me. Also, I can’t go after the person I like because I’m not sure it’ll work out. He can be...difficult sometimes and I’m not his type. Probably.”

Tony raised an eyebrow, intrigued. “You’re everyone’s type, Steve. He’s probably stupid if he rejects you. Doesn’t know what he’s missing. I mean, seriously, it’s ridiculous. Just shoot your shot, Steve.”

Steve chuckled as Tony fell asleep.

Okay, he’ll try.

-

Natasha wakes up early because Clint is at her door, knocking like a mad man.

She steps out in her pajamas, an Avengers t-shirt, red sweatpants, and spider slippers that Clint had gotten her as a gag gift for the holidays.

“Are we under attack?” Natasha says after she yawns and runs hands through her hair.

“No! But it’s just as urgent!” Clint was waving his hands up and down. 

“Did you guys at least put the fire out before you interrupted my sleep?” 

“Okay, there isn’t a burnt toaster this time. I am referring to the fact that I just spotted Steve leaving from Tony’s room!” 

“So we made those plans for nothing? Damn it,” Natasha said.

-

The Avengers head out for a public appearance and end up getting in the crossfire of a bunch of criminals attempting to cause a scene. They spring into action, but end up having to unleash the Hulk. 

When everything is done, Bruce faints after changes back to himself. 

Thor ends up carrying him back to the tower and sets him down in the med bay.

“Relax, Point Break, your boyfriend isn’t dead. He’s just exhausted himself because of the surprise attack. Just let him sleep for a bit. JARVIS will let you know when he’s up,” Tony drawled. Then, he patted his shoulder and left to check on everyone else.

“Uh, he’s not my–” Thor started as Tony walked out, but he was out the door.

Hawkeye felt pain in his ears because of some device that the villains were using in order to take advantage of the fact that he’s deaf. Widow was making sure he didn’t panic too much as he lay down in pain. 

“We need to get him to a silent room.”

He ends up resting in his room for the rest of the day. Natasha stays in the common area on his floor in case he needs anything. 

Thor refused to leave Bruce so Steve dropped by and got him lunch.

That left Tony with Steve, who was fretting over how Tony got blasted out of the sky by a laser in the middle of the presentation. Good thing, Tony was trying out his stealth suit that expanded from his tie. So he was prepared for anything. 

“Tony, I just want to make sure you’re okay. We got two men down already.”

Steve reached out to touch the spot on his chest where he got struck. 

“Steve, I’m all right. Just a little shaken up. I was about to have an anxiety attack because of what they did, but I’ll be fine. Just...don’t worry so much.”

Tony put a hand over Steve’s and he stared back at him to show that he meant it.

“Okay.”

“Now,” Tony started. “Do you want to get out of here? Everyone else is busy so that just leaves us, and I’m bored of looking at medical charts. Too much for one day.”

-

Tony and Steve end up leaving Manhattan and head out beyond what they’re used to.

“Pick a borough, any borough.”

They end up at some fancy restaurant in Chinatown.

Somehow, people don’t recognize them. 

“So...is this the first date you’ve been on since you woke up?” Tony jokes.

“If I had known this was a date, I would’ve worn something nicer, Tony. Also, yeah, probably.”

“You look perfect as always. You’re like Rihanna. Looking good in everything. She’s a pop star from the 2000s. Still popular today.”

Steve laughed at Tony’s effort to keep him up to date with everything.

“Not bad for a first date. But I did read somewhere that people consider naps dates now? So I guess this is the third?” Steve teased. 

“Oh, Mister Rogers, I didn’t take you for such a flirt. Let a boy breathe before you try anything!” Tony put a hand over his forehead in dramatic fashion.

“Like I’d try anything unless you were into it. I can tell you’re...sensitive. Also, don’t mention this to the others. I wanna see how long it takes until they say anything,” Steve flashed him a smirk.

“Widow probably knows. And if she does, then so does Barton. But Brucie and Point Break are too busy with whatever the hell they’re doing whenever we leave them. It’s funny because if I didn’t know any better, then I’d say they’re– ohhhhhh,” Tony said.

Steve raised an eyebrow. “Obviously.”

“No, the thing is...I was talking to Bruce the other day and I thought...he liked you. So I was kinda pissed about that. But then, he and Thor came back and oh, wow.”

Tony was looking into the distance as if he had figured out the answer to the questions of the universe. Not some gossip.

“You know, Tony, you can be really cute when you’re not being a smartass.”

“And you are somehow more attractive when you’re not nice to me.”

-

“Hey, JARVIS, where are Stark and Rogers?”

“Thor, they are out for the night. Miss Romanov and Mister Barton are still here. Professor Banner should wake up soon. Is there anything else you need?”

“Can you order some food? Whatever Bruce likes.”

“Of course.”

Bruce wakes up to find Thor attempting to set up food on a table nearby. There’s some documentary playing on the TV about space and from the darkness he spots out the window, he realizes that he’d been knocked out for the whole day.

Thor hears his shift in the bed and turns around.   
  


“Bruce! You’re awake! I just ordered dinner. You fainted.”

“Oh. Where’s everyone else? What time is it?”

JARVIS chimed, “Hello, Professor Banner. Mister Stark and Captain Rogers went out. Miss Romanov is tending to Mister Barton’s injuries.”

“What happened to Clint, Thor?”

“Pain from that device with the soundwaves.”

After they eat, Bruce falls asleep again, but he’s awake enough to feel Thor press a kiss to his forehead and squeeze his hand.

-

The next day, Natasha is glad that Clint was able to sleep despite his pain.

She checks on the others and they seem to be doing all right. 

Bruce and Thor are making out on the roof, while Steve and Tony are watching Spongebob and cuddling on the couch.

Natasha gets Clint some ice cream and sighs as she signs to him.

“It seems that we didn’t have to do anything for them to get together.”

“Awesome.”

**Author's Note:**

> tumblr: @rainbowrabblerouser


End file.
